Here in the Heartland

I just spent an unholy amount of time going through my inbox. I am beyond embarrassed to admit that I responded to an email that I received in June of 2006. So take that, those of you who think I'm dead when you don't hear from me in two weeks!! Also, my 'unread' queue went from 160 to 52.

Among the incredibly interesting things I learned from this archiving session was that there is a man who is swimming the Amazon River right now. Read about it here. Or visit his personal website here. He is braver than me, because, according to the article about him (many thanks to Kelly for encouraging me to swim the Amazon myself), he is in danger of, "Piranha, crocodiles, sharks, and candiru, or toothpick fish, that like to swim into body orifices, erect a spine and start feeding on blood and tissue." I mean, he's doing it for the sake of "Peace and the environment," but I believe that the $1 million that it is taking to finance his maniacal endeavor (not to mention the buckets of animal blood that will be loaded onto support boats to distract flesh-eating fish and reptiles as he swims) could be donated to some humanitarian organization. Everyone wins! Except for the sharks; I'm personally betting on them.

On to news of the Mississippi. Last week, Greg was off for Presidents' Day, so we took a 50-mile or so drive out to the country. His boss, Charlie, and Charlie's wife, Linda, have a sizable farm. Among their animals are: a Great Pyrenees, a Mastiff, a donkey, three cats, 5 goats, and a baby goat. See her on the left?

I've finally taken photos of my life, at least started to. See them here. I've also taken on another job, an admission of my hopeless addiction to clothing. FYI, I am nearly 6 feet tall with limbs to match and have always been on the low end of the weight chart. Now that Gap and Banana Republic have begun serving the needs of us gangly types, I am left without choice: I have joined the ranks of Gap, Inc. employees because of the discounts!! Don't worry, I am only unloading the delivery truck on Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 6-11. There is still plenty of time to type, type, type away on those afternoons, as well as every other weekday and into the nights. Greg has pretty much forgotten what the 'fun' Jennifer is like; I am a workaholic in jammies. It snowed last weekend, but has been rather mild this week. Today, I've weathered the Severe Thunderstorm Warning in the safety of Panera (I bite my thumb at you, Memphis!), enjoying a bagel with cream cheese of the hazelnut variety! Oh, heaven. On the downside, as the Panera soundtrack cycled, I did notice Kenny G (or someone pretending to be him) playing a no-words version of James Blunt's song 'You're Beautiful.' Really? I mean, really?

Also, on my way back and forth from the rental room to Greg's house, I see many a billboard. I think that MacDonald's is winning the race by a long shot. Allow me to explain.


I had passed the advertisement above many times, and many times had thought that if a $2 heart attack-in-a-sack in someone's only reason for getting out of bed in the morning, that person should seek serious help immediately.


But upon seeing this personalized McMarriage Proposal during Valentine's week, I had to make serious mention of the PR assault that is being waged. Notice that the woman is asking the man via Ronald's engaging demeanor. How much more romantic can it get, people? There have been two more messages since I took this photo, and I am tempted to call the branch and ask if he was persuaded to bow to her thoughtful gesture.