Maiden Voyage

Ahh, the life I have chosen to lead...

Tuesday, 1 p.m. - 2-hour drive to St. Louis.
4.30 p.m. - set to preboard flight to Baltimore. One working flight attendant rushed out the gate and asked if I would do a jetway trade with her (where two flight attendants trade shifts on the spot). I said I would (what else was I going to say? “I haven't reviewed my manual sufficiently,” is not a good excuse for the inflight training valedictorian.) Turns out she didn't need me after all, but it gave me a good scare.
8.30 p.m. - arrive Baltimore, meet landlord and crashpad-mates.
11.15 p.m. - bedtime.

Wednesday, 12.30 p.m. - hang at the SW crew lounge at the airport to get a feel for it.
3.30 p.m. - meet Regina and Kevin, my crew, at the gate and board.
3.50 p.m. - advised by captain that there is a fire; crew deplanes.
4.10 p.m. - hear that a baggage conveyor belt caught fire, no serious damage to persons or property but 7 or so fire trucks came (see photo). Apologize to crew for bringing 'beginners luck' to the trip.
4.30 p.m. - depart Baltimore; get ribbing from passengers for wearing nausea patch behind ear and anti-queasy bracelets; reply that it's better than vomiting in their drinks. (OK, I didn't really say that, but thought about it.)
Thursday, 1 a.m. - bedtime, two hours late.

Thursday, 10 a.m. - Wake up in time to miss continental breakfast. Price of milk off the room service menu? $1.95. Used tap water to make my Kashi instant oatmeal; BLAND!
2 p.m. - arrive at airport and board all 97 passengers before the captain informs us all of a hydraulic fluid leak and bad weather in Houston, our destination. Wait nearly an hour at the gate before pushback. Unable to serve passengers drinks or snack in flight because of turbulence.
5 p.m. - Arrive Houston but miss our connection to Long Island; wait in airport for four hours. Struggle to order an iced mocha with vanilla. Me: “Iced mocha with vanilla flavor, please.” Server: “Vanilla mocha?” Me: “No, chocolate mocha, just add vanilla.” Server: “Frappuccino?” Me: “Regular mocha with vanilla syrup.” Other server: “Hot mocha?” Me: “Mocha, with ice and vanilla syrup.” First Server: “That's a frappuccino.” Second Server: “No, frappuccino has crushed ice, this has regular ice.” First Server: “It's not hot?” This went on ad nauseam, but you get the picture. Not surprisingly, the mocha was terrible.
9 p.m. - board flight to Chicago, but as passengers (deadheading), not crew.
11.53 p.m. - Arrive Chicago; realize that I only had about 20 minutes of actual work the entire day.
Friday, 1 a.m. - bedtime.

Friday, 9.30 a.m. - wake to alarm so as not to miss breakfast.
2 p.m. - board flight and deadhead to Baltimore in order to catch up with the trip to Raleigh we were supposed to work. Read magazines for entertainment.
4 p.m. - arrive Baltimore, eat various leftovers from my cooler, sample Body Shop hand cream, curse the universe for charging $8/day for Internet in the terminal.
7.30 p.m. - board flight to Raleigh, 50 minutes air time. Land in Raleigh, deplane passengers, bring on other passengers, fly back to Baltimore.
10 p.m. - arrive Baltimore, catch cab to crashpad.

Saturday, 8.30 a.m. - rise, pack, don uniform for fifth day in a row, buy one-way train fare and receive $7-worth of gold coins as change, take train to terminal.
11.00 a.m. - board flight to St. Louis
12.00 p.m. - arrive St. Louis, run into an inflight classmate at Starbucks, enjoy correctly made iced mocha with vanilla.
12.15 p.m. - pay $72 to retrieve vehicle from short-term parking, again cursing the universe.
2.45 p.m. - arrive Cape Girardeau, search health food store for 30 minutes wondering why employees are singing along with radio quite loudly; purchase ginger pills to "support digestive function, maintain healthy gut flora, aid in the digestion of dietary fats, and calm/soothe the digestive tract" during my next trip. This must be the PC/granola way of saying "prevent nausea and vomiting." I'll let you know, especially about the gut flora. I hope it doesn't promote fauna too, because that would just be weird.
3.15 p.m. - reintroduce myself to Torri.

Unfortunately, there were no written tests during my whole trip, so I could not prove my mettle as a superior test-taker. However, I managed to completely avoid any hint of nausea, which is far more advantageous in this line of work. Thanks for your concern! At least this wasn't me...